Litrato

The only thing keeping me awake is this damn coffee. I'm staying up all night trying to figure out how the hell can one picture ignite something buried underneath the ashes of my past? She's an angel and, at the same time, a human, who fills up the emptiness caused by my imperfections with twisted and complex methods I once defined hell. I can compare her to every little star that shines tonight. She's like any other; dull, asymmetrical, small, one in a milion. Floating in the vast empty space, reflecting the light that shines from some other star. But I've grown somehow attracted to this one little star that I can easily perceive her from the crowd. And also, like all the other stars, she's somewhere so far away and unreachable. I always thought so. Even though we were once so close. There was a space between us that cannot be gapped. A wide, unending space. Scared that if I lurk within it, I'd lose my way back. Funny thing about it, is that it happened. Now she's farther away. Even more today than what I felt before. There is no definition for love in this dictionary I keep. Not after what happened. Not ever. Maybe I can give a little connotation... "A game for fools who selflessly devote their time and loyalty to each other, fools who wear true smiles on their faces." I'm no fool. I'm a nobody. Heartless and cold. Harsh and bitter. After all, I'm all lies. Ain't I?

Melaaaa..

And knives cut deeply in the evening, painting shades of pain and sorrow over colorless emotions and lifeless portraits. Everything seems so dull and everyone makes me wanna kill this aching heart. I thought it was over and I was over you but one night’s dream sent it all crashing back down on me. Can’t you see? I’m missing you like it has been decades and every moment I think of you feels like nothing is left for me to hang on. You’re taking my breath away, taking me away. Pulling me down and I’m down on my knees, tying me up and I’m restrained. Love exchanged for freedom. Haven’t you noticed that you caught me under your curse? And now I lost myself in the labyrinth you portray, with a knife sharpened by regret… Will it cast death upon an evening sorrow and end the life of a lachrymose feeling, will it cut through the rope that binds my heart and soul to your hands or will those hands take away this knife and slap me back to reality? Your smile was the sweetest I’ve ever seen..Will I be able to see that smile once more or am I going to leave this place without a word from you,
not even goodbye….

Insolent Thoughts and Unended Beginnings

Butterflies fill the cloudy sky, embraced by the rainbow.. Smiles masquerade each street with colorful melodies.. Only a shadow of the boy stands dim against the sight, with emptied eyes that stares into oblivion.. Surrounded by people who greets him… “Good day”, walks endlessly across them.. It’s so hard for you to place an expression on his face..

Melancholic tunes slowly fill the room as the dawning of day breaks the skies, still holding yesterday in his arms.. Fighting the tears that try to escapey his eyes.. His heart, too lethargic, rejects all other emotions for the love it once knew is now gone.. Waiting for a solace, he looks up upon the evening.. Would you take a moment to pick his broken heart and put it back together..?

I Wrote This for the One Named Mela

I’ve more bitter memories to write
much like the stars at night.
Cute love songs withered with agony
as romantic poetry died within me.
I couldn’t face tomorrow
knowing it’s full of sorrow.
Yet your smile took it all away,
one look brightened up my day.
You’re my rainbow after the rain,
your voice is the cure to my pain.
You’re my moonlight after the sun goes down,
the smile that replaces my frown.
The way you make me go crazy..
Feels like I’m falling slowly..
Still inlove with you..
Unlike any other could do..

Stupidity Breakdown

I wrote myself a sweet song to tell you something. I found that I don’t have a place in your heart so I’m writing this broken ballad instead.. Crushes turn to likes and eventually springs to love.. You caught me somewhere in the middle, close to “love” but still so far away.. In this sequel I’m already composing an elegy for my dying heart, the captain and his crew are off to battle against the pirates.. X marks the spot for the captain where the princess’ heart is found.. But slowly the ship sinks into the ocean and one by one his crews are all for themselves.. I’m the only one left, the captain of a sunken ship and the master of bitter love songs.. “I haven’t met you my dear, still I fear I’m falling for you.. But is this goodbye? I’m slowly seeing defeat and I lost my way.. Will I ever have you here to sail with me? Onwards to the rising sun, I may have lost the battle but the war has just begun..”

Elegy I

“My softest fragile core has broken down to a bitter demise.. My words come to contradict the curve of my lips.. Lines I write catalyst the frowning of my smile.. I haven’t seen the end, I thought. Now comes the withered parade of emotions to the graveyard of hearts.. Pieces I will scatter into the ocean, I hope shall one day be complete once again.. Till then, I bid thee… Rest in pieces..”

Nightmare To Sunset To Storm

Can I shout your name?
I just want you to listen..
Even if I break my voice from screaming.
.Just want to let you know…
That everything’s so bright without you..
Everywhere I go turns to rainbow and butterflies,
Without you..
But one day, I’ll wake up..
And realize that everything was made up..
So before I open my eyes..
I just want you to know..
I’d be fine without you..

Coz, who’d need someone like you when I’ve
got my bitter pills and ice cold gin to
prolong my dreams..
Without you I’m free..
And stripped of everything..

I Wrote This To Let You Know How Much I Hate You For Killing Me But Thanking You For Making Me Stronger

I look in the mirror
and find myself falling to the floor
with bits and pieces torn apart
from what i used to call my heart
my eyes cry tears of pain
you gave me a new meaning to being insane
after burning my paradise
you came back just to watch my demise
you brought me down when i was at my best
your actions, no matter how wrong, i can’t detest
you were the only one i loved truly
and if you don’t want me..
Just turn me down with a kiss..
so it wouldn’t hurt like this..
but i’m willing to set you free
if ever we weren’t meant to be..




give birth to a new definition for painful poetry
for once i wrote the sweetest words there can be
tainted with agony from what you caused me
bitterness withered every bit of this scenery

A Little Bit For You, a Little Bit For Letting Go

I just wanna drown myself with the music I crave for.. I don’t wanna miss you, I don’t wanna think of you, it’ll only make me fall deeper.. I just want to see myself uttering lyrics from the songs I listen to, I don’t want to find myself speaking thoughts of you.. I just want to run away just this once and be somewhat redundant of my actions and words.. I don’t want to make another new move that could falsely trigger something I don’t want to go through or endure.. I’m sick and I’m tired of always being the good guy.. Sign me up for a dropping form, I’ll save it for later or when I feel like falling for you.. the sentence “I love you” could be a catalyst for something I’m not expecting be it good or bad.. So push me harder and pull me closer coz I won’t be anywhere near a falling distance, I made sure I’m not.. I don’t want to waste my time on anymore mistakes, so give me something to hold onto and trap me just to have me falling.. For you, I won’t be the guy who’d let you down though.. I’m not like the others.. Not for you, not like you, but for me and more of the real me..

And Now I'll Be Moving On, Far Away From You

I’m beginning to see what I’ve lost..
Regrets left me lying on my bed, thinking “what if”..
Staring at my window I see light passing through..
Gradually filling the room..
“6:03 a.m.”
It’s already morning and I’ve yet to sleep..
Where’s the sense in waiting if I could move away?
So tell me this,
“You’re someone I can’t fool, won’t fool. And I’m not ready”
And then I think,
“What the hell? I’m wasting my time writing this down when I can be somewhere else having fun”
Then I realize,“Shit.. This is so wrong…”
*gets up and leaves the house*
Life…
It’s a little complicated, yes.
But It gets more puzzling when you’re around.

Heads Up, It's Gonna Hit You Headshot!

My soul is frozen by coldness of my own eyes
and i’m lost in the depths of my own lies.
I seek the truth yet I find myself trapped.
What is it I’m looking for?
I already have it here.
It’s an escape, an excuse for not being
able to feel what i wanna feel.
And yet i continue to fall deeper into mymistakes,
i’ll ask each and everyone of you..
Can you really understand me?
Coz honestly,
i don’t understand my own self..
It’s not something i want to say,
it’s not being emo,
it’s not trying to “fit in”
Coz i fucking really want to know,
what the hell is going in my head right now?
And tomorrow you’d see me with a smile,passing you by.
Then you look into my eyes and see nothing.
It’s empty.
Fill it with gin and ice just to thaw out my soul
and tonight let me be with you.
Coz i miss you.
In your arms i’m defined..
With your voice i’m alive..
Burn me away just to warm up my lips,
drowning intoxication..
With your touch i’m sober..
Coz this is really fucking too honest
and this is honestly too fucked up..
I Love You and you know it

Forgotten Hero

Here i am again..
I never thought i’d be back here..
So listen closely,
this story…
About a hero who tries to give it his all,
who cares so much for this person,
who wants nothing but to help her from herproblems…
But there’s a twist,
the hero was never even a “hero”
He was, in fact, a sidekick..
Or even just a normal person,maybe just nothing…

But still he cheers for her,
supports her, cares for her..
He loves her..

Yes,that strong hurtful and binding combination
of words put in one sentence..
“i love you” or “he loves her”

This girl…
She loves another,
she’s so perfect,
so beautifully unmatched,
so breathtakingly unique,
but the person she loves…?
Yes, he just throws her away..

So stupid,
so underestimating,
so……

Fucked up,
just wanna fuck him up
till he realizes what he’s missing..
I mean,
i’d die to be in his shoes..
Damn..

Back to the story..
And so the hero just can’t help
her directly because she ignores him..
He talks to her close friend just to
tell her the words needed to help..

I hate it…
This kind of story…

And for what??
She becomes happy with another man,
and what about the hero??
The “hero” is forgotten..
This is just plain hopeless..

Moon - Luna, A Wolf's Forbidden Love

i’ll be the hopeless lone wolf who dwells in insanity
chasing every night, the moon, my poetic tragedy
howling the evening sky just for you to hear me cry
foolishly, blindly running to you ’till the day i die

everyday seems endless and every night was sleepless
the wind would whisper you and leave me breathless
i’d sit and stare at you from a far as you sway in singing colors
like stars that glow in your hair, dancing in a beautiful chorus

you are my sanctuary, my harsh binding reality
you’re everything in me that my heart longs to be
you’re the anchor of myself that keeps me to ground
you’re my love song and i’m your hopeless romantic hound

purely sweet bliss you merit taken as my solace
and if dark sky clouds up our terrace…
would you sing with me in this rain..?
so it may slowly wash away our pain

but if i confess my feelings for you..
will i ever hear you say “i love you too”?
and when it’s all said and done…
are you gonna leave me under the sun?

Moon - The River's Poem

look at you and i see you shinning
light up the evening with your singing
the sky as your hair and stars as your glitters
flooding me with warm emotions like flowing rivers

as cold as the night breeze is his harsh bliss
making you hide behind the clouds, an abyss
where the stars fade and the weather rains
i hate it, to see you crying those pains

if i could be the stars tonight
i’d show you that i’ll be your light
coz i’m always here for you dear
so you won’t have anything to fear

What the F...

where should i start….
hmm…

oh right,let me tell you a story…
please,if you will with patient ears…
a line from a little boy’s life…
when is it that the pain started to grow?now don’t close just yet….
it’s only the beginning…
this terrible aching need for someone….
to be with her for all time,to hold her tightly,
to kiss her under starlit and moonstruck curse,to love her with pure intentions…
she is my solace,my sanctuary from this wretched pain…
the ever drawing end that will soon take place…i don’t want this relationship to end,not even risking it to break or bend…
but is there really something i can do to make her fall back to me…?
i can, without a doubt, pull her to me..
but is it right to do so?
to take away her freedom of choice?
her right as a human to love?
am i that selfish to want her for me?we both know it’s wrong…

who is right…?
a question that left me hanging to forever…
who is right and who is wrong?i need to stop thinking….
it’s driving me insane, really….
oh reality how harsh can you be?
we are….
are we..?
you’re the half of my heart as i am yours…?
or is this just a dream…?
if it were,
i’d never want to awake..!
you are my life dear…….
whatever makes you happy,
even if it were for you to leave me..
just do so that i could smile for you…
someone told me i shouldn’t change for others…
so i’d rather see you happy with someone elsethan to have you crying with me……
ask me if it hurts…
no…
it feels perfectly fine with me…
too fucking perfect…
so much that it hurts…
and it will pass…
yea it will…
when i feel it’s right for me…


what the fuck am i thinking right now…?
i should just die a thousand deaths for what i’m saying…
ofcourse you love me..
why am i to doubt that??
damn i just feel so wrong…..

i’m sorry i love you dear…….

Night

I

Dance with me, dance with me in the midnight hours

Tonight we’ll steal the stage, make it ours

We’ll burn their souls, stopping hearts together

Our minds are one, I’ll say it now, I’m yours forever..

II

Lights are moving, playing in the night sky

Like stars with life that would never die

And love will last like diamonds in the evening

Let’s make this dream a reality worth living

III

5:54am shouts the clock that hates

Why can’t we stop flying times and dates?

A kiss from you, make this all come true

Coz I love you, believe me, I really do

Hero

I

Life was a war of blood, gray and sorrow

Almost felt like there was no tomorrow

I never really believed I could find my you

Nor came the day that you’d love me too..

II

You walked into my private hell where I just scream

Birds singing, flowers blooming, changing this nightmare into a perfect dream

You held my hand, dancing in the melody of colors

Swirling, masquerading, forgetting all the horrors..

III

Today I’m your prince and you’re my princess

Swaying in notes and in harmonious caress

Tonight I’m your hero, I’ll save you from sorrow

Because I love you and that much is true..

Sweetness

it’s like how the stars shine bright,
and how the moon clears the night.
you always find the right words to say,
so complicated yet said in a simple way.
in every little statements you make
almost always feels like an earthquake..
my world is shaken, and my heart is stolen.
it was unplanned and yet so sudden.
i’m a ghost of the past no more,
i’m more than a knight in shinning armor!
i’ll take all those tears away from your eyes,
i’ll give you the best goodmorning sunrise.
never again shall we hide behind masks,
nor fold to words of dark and dusks.
i have you now, i’d stand up and fight.
for you my dear, i’ll be your light.
this is no cinderella story,
this is not a fairy tale of glee and glory..
this is where endings are not always happy..
but we don’t need them, we’ll just fight reality!
and forever shall we be together,
through the harshest weather,
through laughter and cry...
coz we’re closer than you think, you and i….